"Not Much Between Despair and Ecstasy"
By Ani 

Chapter Twelve - There's No Protection 

      "I can't believe you talked me into this!" Gohan said as they landed on the badlands.
      "I can't believe you gave in to her," Trunks joked, dodging behind Zandre to escape Gohan.
      "What I can't believe is I gave in to spending the last five months of the pregnancy at Capsule Corp. And if you don't go through with this, I won't leave the cliff until they're two," Zandre added playfully, smiling at Gohan's mock anger.
      "Besides, Gohan, this will give you a chance to see her add her ki to mine. And it's not like we're actually gonna fight with her," Trunks said, getting serious.
      Gohan sighed, agreeing. "You're right, Trunks. I want to know how you hide your ki so well too, Zandre. But first things first." He paused, pointing at a large boulder a few hundred yards away. "Give that rock your strongest blast."
      Zandre came to Gohan's side, her right arm straight out, hand fisted with the familiar white aura of her ki. The blast suddenly streamed from her hand and incinerated the boulder. Before either demi-Saiyajin could respond, she was propelled backwards into the cliff. They turned to find Seventeen trying to force Zandre deeper into the crater they formed.
      Trunks was ready to blast him until Gohan called out, "You'll hit her too!"
      They rushed to them, only to have Seventeen forced past them with the same white ki energy. Seventeen shook the beam not far away and, turning to the guys, screamed, "You took her away from me, so I'm taking her away from you!" and streamed past.
      "Zandre! NOOO!!" Gohan yelled, following, watching as she got beaten further into the cliff.
      His anger manifested as he landed, going Super Saiyajin. He rushed to them, grabbing Seventeen's feet and throwing him over his head as hard as he could, counting on Trunks to keep him busy as he checked on Zandre. She slid out of the crater, landing with a groan. He realized she was fighting it. "Zandre, go ahead and heal yourself. We can handle him."
      "No... can't chance it. I can't let him... know. Don't worry... the twins are fine. Now go," she replied, trying to push him away.
      He reluctantly joined Trunks, attacking Seventeen from behind. They all suddenly jumped apart when she remembered, 'Combine your most powerful blasts, guys. It worked on her,' sending the thought to both.
      Trunks and Gohan nodded over Seventeen, both of them moving to place themselves between him and Zandre. She turned her attention to her hands as she heard them call out their blasts. A bright flare of light and Seventeen screaming in pain was quickly followed by Gohan's roar, "Nimbus!"
      The cloud stopped in front of her as both of them tried to help her on. As soon as she felt it beneath her, she turned to find Gohan sitting next to her. "It's okay, Zandre. He's gone. They're gone for good! It's over. Go to sleep." 

      She was standing outside the forest around Gohan's home. She slowly knelt, pulling her children close to her, "You two remember what we told you, that they kind of are and kind of aren't your grandparents." They both nodded at her. "And don't be surprised if there is another Taka and Nozomi around, okay?"
      They nodded again, saying, "Okay."
      She rose, taking their hands again as they headed to the house. As they neared the well, ChiChi's voice could be heard bellowing out of the house. "What are you talking about, Goku? It's not possi..." She stopped as they both came out the door, staring.
      Zandre took a deep breath. "We're from the future, the one Mirai Trunks comes from. Today is these two's fourth birthday, and they wanted to meet their grandparents."
      Goku smiled and knelt, calling to them. "Well, come say hello to your grandpa."
      They both looked up at her and she smiled and nodded. They slowly approached him, bowed, and then threw themselves on him, knocking Goku to the ground. ChiChi approached Zandre as Goku and her twins started a tickle fight. "They told me about your time, your Gohan. Where is he?" ChiChi asked.
      "He had to stay behind," was all she would say.
      The feel of four kis approaching brought an end to the fight. The twins retreated to their mother, who'd knelt to clean them up. Goku stood, a solemn look on his face, as ChiChi slowly got anxious. The four kis landed behind Goku and ChiChi, close enough that Zandre couldn't see them from her position.
      "Thanks for waiting, Gohan," an unfamiliar voice mumbled.
      "Mom, Dad, what is it? Aren't you happy to see us?" a familiar voice said.
      They parted and Zandre looked up to see Gohan standing there in shock, about to drop his set, a three-year-old on each arm. Her set clung to her, scared of this strange version of their daddy. She slowly stood, picking up Taka as Nozomi's arms latched around her leg. Gohan almost dropped his, until a young man, a teenager, came around from behind and took his green-haired little girl from him, saying, "Geesh Gohan, what are you think..." It got left hanging as he turned to the others.
      Gohan set his son, a spitting image of his father, down and his set clung to his legs, the only word he could think coming out. "How?"
      "We're from the future, the one Mirai Trunks is from. It's their fourth birthday and they wanted to meet their grandparents," she replied calmly.
      Nozomi got up the nerve to ask, "Where's the other you, Mommy?"
      The other adults flinched as Gohan's children looked as her in wonder. His little girl looked at him, then to Nozomi. "Ours died after we were born."
      Zandre's eyes darted up in time to see Gohan's pain and anguish flash across his face, determined to stay strong for his twins. She set Taka down and detached Nozomi before she turned to him. "We can leave if it's too painful..."
      "No, don't. It'll give these two a chance to know some version of their mother," he replied, taking a step closer, his still hanging on each leg.
      His looked back and forth between them and they slowly let go of their daddy's legs. His set then went to hers, standing in front of each other, amazed the only differences were their hair and ages. The group of them suddenly giggled, running off into the forest.
      "Could we go and talk?" Gohan barely whispered.
      Zandre nodded, taking his left hand and started off after the children. Gohan wondered why, then suddenly remembered years ago, that first visit, knowing hers lost that arm. She stopped as they got close enough to hear the children, pulling away and leaning on a tree. "So, why?"
      "It's gonna sound weird, and I know your lives were different, but I... I need to know it's really you... Zandre," he replied, fidgeting.
      "I understand. If it were me, I'd feel the same way. What do you want me to do? What do you want to know?" she replied, turning her back to him.
      She jumped a little as he slipped up behind her, smelling her hair. "What can I ask? Any question about us won't have the same answer. I can only think of one, what did you and your mother do after the Saiyajins killed your father?"
      "We left the monastery. I told her he said to come here, but she went to East Capital because she didn't want to explain me. She became a housekeeper," she stopped.
      His hands went to her shoulders, his voice in her ear. "It's you. You look like her, smell like her, lived part of you life like her." He turned her around, a pleading look in his eyes as he inched closer, pressing his lips to hers, "You even feel like her."
      Zandre gently pulled away, taking his hands in hers, "But I'm not her, not completely. I'm different in as many ways as I'm similar. You've got to understand that, Gohan."
      He sighed, nodding slowly as the girls rushed up to her, pulling her away. 

      "...I'm not her. Not completely... I'm different in as... I'm similar. You've got to... Gohan," Zandre mumbled in her healing sleep. Gohan, Trunks, Bulma, and little brother all gathered around her.
      "I don't understand it myself; all I know is you can't wake her when she's healing," Gohan said.
      "But what she's saying doesn't make sense. What if something's wrong?" Bulma asked.
      "She should have woken up when it moved to another one, right?" Trunks asked, confused.
      "Yes, she should, and I don't know why she didn't," Gohan replied, frustrated as he sat in the chair.
      Little brother turned from her to the others. "It's nothing to worry about, she's dreaming."
      "Can you tell us why, what it's about?"
      "No, I'm not that good; she can when she wakes up, though," he replied, curling up next to her in the bed.
      "I guess we wait. Come on, Trunks, let me check you over," Bulma replied, placing a reassuring hand on Gohan's shoulder. 

      They were all around the table, everyone. Gohan and Zandre sat on opposite sides, their twins in their laps, the grandparents on the other as everyone started asking questions. "Why did you come again? Where are the others?"
      Before Zandre could reply, her twins spoke up. "Daddy stayed home with the baby."
      Everyone turned to Gohan to see the pain fill his eyes along with the confusion, "But how could he...?"
      "Without his arm, you mean. He's got plenty of help, but we figured out a way. It's using your ki, a little like flying. He's gotten so good he barely realizes he's doing it, and it uses such a small amount of power you can barely feel it," she finished as both sets of twins started laughing.
      Two of the napkins started dancing around the table. "Taka, Nozomi, what did I tell you?" Zandre said sternly.
      The napkins suddenly fell flat on the table. "Sorry, Mama," they chorused, surprising everyone.
      "It's okay," Zandre replied, hugging them before she put them down, watching as they ran to 'her' parents. She smiled at them as she continued, "As to why we came, it's their fourth birthday and they wanted to meet their grandparents. It didn't help that Trunks told them about how he got to know his father." Zandre turned to both of them, amazed at the pride on Vegeta's face. 

      The day flew by; Zandre and her set spending time alone with 'Papa and Mama', Goku and ChiChi, and lastly Gohan and his twins. She spent hours with his in her lap, telling them stories, answering what questions she could, giving them some sense of their mother.
      As the day grew short, the 'family' headed outside. Gohan and Zandre laughed as their children ran off ahead of them, trying to get in one more game before they lost their other.
      A hand on hers made Zandre stop, turning to him as he said, "I'm sorry about earlier. I guess I'm not over you... her yet. It's getting harder to now that Nozomi's looking so much more like her mother." Tears trickled down his face.
      "I'm sorry, too. I should have checked things over before I brought them here. But you've got two wonderful children and a whole group of family and friends to help you through it. And you will, if you're anything like mine," she replied, a hand wiping away his tears.
      "No, I'm glad you came. It was helpful to all of us, especially if your life was like Mirai Trunks told us. That's why it was you, right?" he tried to smile.
      "Yes, he said I could learn more about my father too," she admitted, "Anyway, we've got to go. The others will be worried." Zandre turned away, about the call for the children, when he stopped her.
      "Could you possibly try to..." He stopped, embarrassed he asked.
      She turned back to him, asking, "Exactly how did she die?"
      Gohan sighed, turning away. "We had just defeated Majin Buu. She'd been healing everyone as the fight wore on. When it was finished, she tried to come to me, but she was in labor. There was a complication, and she was too weak... she couldn't... she told me to... raise them well and... tell them about her... that she loves them..."
      "...and that she loves you and knows you're strong enough to go on without her," Zandre finished, touching his back, "Gohan, you are. They are terrific children and they know their mother loves them. But they need to know that their father needs them as much as they need him."
      "More, so much more," he said as he watched all four walked to them, hand in hand.
      The twins went to the other's parent, hugging tight and saying good-byes. They returned to their parent, Zandre's running off to the time machine. Zandre knelt in front of Gohan's. "I might not be your real momma and I have my own, but I love you as if I were. I hope you know your real momma loves you more than I do."
      Gohan's jumped into her arms again; overjoyed some version of their mother loves them. Zandre slowly rose, holding both and handed them to their daddy. She reached in her pocket, pulling out a strange contraption. "Bulma rigged this up; she never tested it, though. It's supposed to work like a phone, a beeper, or something like that. You can use it whenever, if your Bulma doesn't make a time machine," she said, slipping it in his pocket.
      They stood there for a few minutes, lost in each other's eyes, their pain. Gohan barely asked, "What about my question?"
      Zandre turned to his twins, worrying about how to word it. "Remember when we tried, what it did, Gohan. But remember what I told you earlier, too. Remember for them," she replied, stroking the twin's backs.
      He nodded solemnly as she turned and walked away. 

      "Gohan," had him jump, almost dropping little brother.
      "...real momma loves you more than I..." Zandre mumbled, still healing.
      "Gohan, come on, it's your turn," Bulma said as Trunks took little brother from him.
      Gohan reluctantly agreed, joining Bulma at the exam table across for the end of the bed. He peeled off his shirt as she started examining, bandaging.
      "...supposed to work like a... whenever you want..." Zandre continued.
      "I wonder if this means anything," Bulma pondered.
      "What do you mean?"
      "No offense, Gohan, but your mate is full of surprises," she stated.
      "Yeah," he agreed, then turned to her, confused. "Mate?"
      "That's what Vegeta always called me, and it was more heartfelt and more permanent than being his wife ever could be." She paused, glancing at both. "Besides, you two are even more in sync than we were, than even your parents were."
      Gohan got lost in the memories. "Yeah, but half the time it felt like she was raising Dad too," he replied; both started laughing.
      Zandre opened her eyes to see Trunks and little brother cuddled in sleep, overhearing the end of the conversation. She tried to stay still, go back to sleep, but Gohan noticed. "Zandre, are you okay?"
      "Fine, just tired, why?" she asked as he sat on the bedside.
      "You kept mumbling in your sleep and you never woke up," Bulma said.
      "I had a weird dream," she said, her hand going to her stomach. "It was their fourth birthday and we went to the other timeline cause they wanted to meet their grandparents."
      "Were we all there?" Gohan asked.
      "No, it was just the three of us. I found out later you stayed with the baby. But all the other things I saw, found out. You had a brother, Gohan, a year younger than Trunks. And Bulma, you had a little girl too; she was a year older than his set." She stopped.
      "His set?" they both asked.
      "Yes, that me died having these two. I gave birth after healing everyone from a fight with something called Majin Buu. But, oh, Gohan, they were asking how you could care for the baby, and I explained it as redirecting flying, picking up something else, not you. It could work. I told them you were so good and so used to it they could barely tell and you don't even realize you're doing it. Even our set was doing it in the dream," she exclaimed, taking his hand.
      Gohan stared at her, lost in the notion, mumbling, "They really did."
      Zandre nodded at him, smiling as Bulma asked, "But why did you have it when you were healing? Has it happened before?"
      Getting lost in the thought, Zandre turned to Bulma. "I did once before, years ago, but I can't remember why, what it meant."
      Bulma looked at them both, lost in their thoughts, and shrugged, "It's probably just your fears about having them coming across in your dream."
      That pulled Gohan out of his thoughts, concerned. "Zandre... is it true?"
      Zandre was reluctant to respond, the silence cueing Bulma into pulling Trunks and little brother's chair out of the room. As the door silently closed, she answered, "Gohan, I guess you could say it's all the usual fears; if I survive, if we lose one or both, if I'll be a good mother. But... it's more. What with both of us being half human, we've got no idea how they are going to turn out; I'm scared of that."
      He placed his hand on her cheek. "I never really thought of it, since we found out they've got the Saiyajin tails. But I realize why you are and I'm scared for them too. But we'll deal with it together." He paused, still seeing some of the fear. "What did they look like in you dream?" he asked, joining her in the bed.
      "Oh, well... Taka looked like you did, only his hair was my green color, except for an area in the front that was black," she replied, sliding from her fears to her dream.
      "Taka?" Gohan cut in. "Our son was named Taka."
      Zandre looked him in the eye, smiling. "It does mean honor. And besides, you can't decide which one to name him after, you can honor them all."
      He chuckled, "You're right; besides, I named our daughter, it's only right I let you name our son. What did Nozomi look like? A miniature of her mother?"
      Zandre replied with a yawn, "Yes, but she had your black hair color, oh, and the tail." She fell asleep.
      Gohan laid there for hours, content in the knowledge his foes, his old life was dead and his love, his 'mate', his family, his new life was with him. Somewhere, deep down, he knew it always would be.
      "I hope your dream comes true, my love. Just the good for us, in both timelines," he mumbled before he fell asleep.